100+ jokes in hindi and English

Nice & Fresh 100 Jokes 4 U... (Hindi+English)
Galileo used 2 study in smal lamp. Graham Bell used 2 study in candle light. Shakspeare used 2 study in street light. Mujhe ye samajh nahi aata ke yeh sab Din Mein Kya Karte the?
Ek conductor ki shadi ho rahi thi, jab Dulhn phero ke waqt uske pas akar baithi to vo bola thoda pas ho k baith, ek sawari or baith sakti hai.
How True.. .A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min, a beer shortens your life by 4 minutes, a working day shortens your life by 8 hours!
True bravery is 2 arrive home.....fully drunk......a late night out.....& wife waiting with a jhadu and u ask: Hey abhi tak safai kar rahi ho?
Well, they do say opposites attract... So I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured. Gud Day!
Two frinds,who hadn't seen each other in several years, met on the street.
1st: Who are u working 4 now?
2nd: Same people, My wife & 4 children.
Raamnavami aanewali hai, isiliye hum apna man kewal Pooja, Arcahna, Sadhna, Aarti mein lagaana chahtey hain. So... aapke pados mein in mein se koi ho to bataao.
Mil Gaya, Oye Hoye Mil Gaya, Balle-Balle Mil Gaya, DHINCHAK DHINCHAK Mil Gaya, Apna Sara Kaam Chod Ke Fizool ka SMS Padnewala Ek aur..."BEWAKUF"Mil Gaya!
A women's prayer: Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him and Patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death!
Dog is truly a man's best friend.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment: Lock your dog and your girlfriend in the boot of the car for an hour.
When you open the boot, which one is really happy to see you?
Aunty, mummy ne chini mangi hai.
Aunty: Aacha aur kia kaha mummy nay?
Kid: Agar woh kamini na de, to Pinki aunty se lay aana.
Why women live a better, longer & a peaceful life?
Because, women don't have a wife.
Postman: I have to come 5 miles to deliver u this packet.
Santa: Why did u come so far. Instead U could have posted it.
A genuine reason for having two girlfriends at a time: Monopoly is always damaging & Competition improves service!
How do u identify a true music lover?
A man when hears a woman singing in the bathroom, puts his ear to the keyhole instead of his eye!
Teacher class mein apne baby ko doodh pilate hue boli: Ale ale mela beta dudh p k doctor banega.
Santa: Mam! Thoda hame bhi pila do hum compounder hi ban jaayenge.
Ek shrabi sadhu se takra gaya. Sadhu: Oh murkh, mein tuje shrap deta hoon...
Sharabi: Ruko, me glass leke ata hoon.
How do u identify a true music lover?
A man when he hears a woman singing in the bathroom and puts his ear to the keyhole instead of his eye!
Ek Church k gate pe likha tha: Jo paap kar k thak gaye wo meri sharan me aaye.
Ek callgirl ne niche apna mob no likh diya: Jo nahi thake wo meri sharan me aaye.
Ma: Beta ladoo Khayega?
Beta: Nahin
Mama: Chocolate?
Beta: Nahin
Mama: Khana?
Beta: Nahin
Mama: Marjana apne peo te gaya hai, sirf jutiyan hi khayega.
Gud afternoon. Aap g de sare pariwar nu sunday di lakh-lakh wadhahi hove. Parmatma kare aap g de jeevan de har hafte da satwan din Sunday hove. Happy Sunday.
When somebody who's deeply in love with you tells you that you're cute, beautiful, and angelic, I agree. That's true, believe me, I swear because love is BLIND!
It takes patience to keep a nagging wife; fortune to keep an ambitious wife; four eyes to keep a pretty wife.
Sometimes you might catch me staring at you. It's not because you are cute but bcoz my mom told me that devils have tails and I'm just wondering where's yours?
Wife: I Have Changed My Mind.
Husband: Thank God ! Does The New One Work Now?
A boy goes to a strip club. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?
Boy: Yes, I saw dad!
Aftr robbing d Bank, robber 2 clerk: Did u see me robbing?
Clerk: Yes.
Robber shot him dead & asked d next clerk: Did u?
2nd clerk: No, But my wife saw u!
Ladkiyan apna dupatta ladke k samne aane k baad hi kyon theek karti hain?
Luteron ko dekh kar hi Daulat ki hifazat ka khayal Aata hai!
Why are Egyptian Children always confused?
Because after death, their DADDY becomes a MUMMY.
Everything about you is perfect - your lips, your skin, your eyes, your body. Perfect! You're lucky to be born beautiful, not like me, who was born to be a big liar.
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.
Marry and make a woman happy OR remain a bachelor and make several women happy!
Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ?
"Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"
A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.