Latest Husband and wife jokes collection in Hindi

:: Husband and Wife Jokes :: pati- hipnotis kya hota hai? patni-kisiko apne control mai kr k apne marji ka kaam krwana. pati-chal jhuti!!!! use to shaadi kehte hai.. :: Latest Husband and Wife Jokes :: chor-tmhare pass jo kuch bhi hai fata fat de do. admi-bhai,aisa maat karo,agar mai khali hath gaya to meri bivi mujhe khacha chaba jayegi.. chor-agar mai khali pahucha to kya meri bivi mujhe taal k khayegi....?? :: Best Husband and Wife Jokes :: admi shadi kyu krta hai? marne k baad woh swarg mai jaye to acha feel kare ,aur nark mai jaye to apne ghar jaisa feel kare.... ek admi ki nye nye shadi hue,phir bhi sham mai use ghr jane ki koi jaldi nahi rehti,woh der tak office mai hi rehta tha boss ne pucha kya baat hai ushne ne bataya ki meri bivi bhi job krti hai,aur jo ghar jaldi jata hai khana bhi usi ko banana padeta hai :: Best Husband and Wife Jokes :: 3 sharabi apas mai baat kr rahe the ki kaun apni bivi kitna control mai rakhta hai.. unme se 3 chup tha? 2no ne puch kya hua? 3 bola kaal hi meri bivi ghutno k baal mere pass aye.. 2no ne kaha shabas!!! 3- aur mujhe boli agar mard ho to bed k niche se niklo.... :: Best Husband and Wife Jokes :: patni 1/2 hr se phone pekisi se baat kr rahi thi,ushne call cut kr diya.. pati-aaj tmne bahut jaldi call cut kr diya.. patni-wrong no tha ishliye patni-apne pati ki kabr pe pankha kr rahi thi.. ek admi ne bola-behan ji ab ishpe pankha kr k kya fayda patni-hmare yaha ek rule hai jab tak pati ki kabr sukh nhi jati,tab tak patni ki dusari shadi nhi ho sakti... ek admi apni patni ka antimsanshkar kr k ghar aa raha tha tahi jor se bijli kadki,badal garje or jor se barish hue dukhi admi ne apne sath chal rhe logo se kaha-- lagta hai pahuch gaye.. ek admi ko cncer hua tha ek din ushk beta ne pucha-papa apko cancer hai phir bhi ap logo se keh rahe hai ki apko Aids hai.. pita ne jwab diya-taki mere marne k baad koi tmhari mummy ko chune ki himmat na kare... :: Husband and Wife Jokes :: ek kuwe ki manyata thi ki sikka dal kr mano kamna puri ho jati thi.. ek pati patni waha gaye pati ne sikka dala aur kuwe k pass se haat gaya.. patni gaye aur woh kuwe pass juki sikka dalne k liye aur gir gaye .. pati thodi der sant tha aur bhi bola-- itni jaldi ye to chamatkar hai..... Tweet 71 :: Husband and Wife Jokes :: ek pati apni patni ko yeh keh kr chidata tha- 3 bacho ki amma patni ko bahut gussa ata tha ek din jaise hi pati ne bola 3 bacho ki amma patni ne turant jwab diya bolo- 2 bacho k papa.. techr ne chote bache se pucha"bhagwan kaha hai"? ek bache ne bola mujhe pata hai.. techr-batao bacha-bathroom mai. techr-ek pal k liye chup thi....phir boli tmhe kaise pata? bacha-roj subah jab papa uthte hai.bathroom ka darwaja knock krte hue kehte hai ."Hey Bhagwan!tm ab tak andar hi ho... pati patni ek bhed bahre bus mai ja rahe the pati ek ladki pass jakar saat k khada ho gaya,yeh dekh kr patni ko jalan hue.. achanak ush ladi ne ek chata mara,aur kaha lo maja ek ladki to chikoti katne ki' pati ne patni ko safaye dete hue kaha maine chikoti nhi kati.. patni muskura k bolo -mujhe pata hai,kyuki maine kiya tha yeh sab.... :: New Husband and Wife Jokes :: ek admi ne waiter ko 100rs tip diye waiter-ap k liye mai roj shaam ko kone wali table reserve rakhunga admi-maine tmhe ishliye tip di hai jab bhi mai apni patni k satha au to tm kehna table khali nhi hai,to mai use kisi saste se hotel mai le jaunga :: New Husband and Wife Jokes :: pati patni bade hi khusi se reh rhe the...unki 25 aniversry thi news reporter unk ghar gaye woh bahut famus couple the reporter-ap k bech kabhi ladai nhi hoti? pati-hm honeymoon pe gaye the.. mai aur meri patni horse pe baith k ghum rahe the... bivi k horse ne use gira diya to meri bivi ne bola- pehli bar,aur woh phir use horse pe chad gye horse ne phir giraya to boli- dusari bar,aur phir chad gye horse ne phir giraya-kuch nhi boli,gun nikala aur horse ko mar diya maine bola yeh tmne kya kiya,kyu mar diya,to ushne bola pehli bar tab se hm santi se reh rahe hai Wife:- How will u feel when i go to my maika sweetie? Husband:- mauka... mauka.......to love.. ::‚ Husband Wife Jokes in Hindi ‚ :: patni-mai driver k naukri se nikal rhi hu kyuki mai aj dusari bar marte marte bachi hu... . pati-plz darling,use ek mauka aur deno na.....plzzz ‚‚ Husband wife jokes Hindi ‚‚ patni- janu bag pack kr lo maine lotry mai 10 crore jita hai pati -darling bag mai winter ka kapde dalu ya summer k? patni- jo bhi dalna hai dalo,aur dafa ho jao yaha se Poem of wife- husband hamara aisa ho, Wallet me jiske bahut paisa ho, Lambi jiski height ho, Gusse ka wo lite ho, jab sas se meri fight ho to kahe janu tum hi right ho............very very funny husband wife sms :: Husband Wife Jokes in Hindi :: patni-tmhe nhi lagta jara si samjhdari se talak k mamle roke ja sakte hai pati- tmhe nhi lagta jara se samjhdari se shaddi bhi roki ja sakti hai. Know your woman’s type : – 1. Windows Woman - kisi kaam k nhi hoti pr ishk bina gujara bhi nhi hota.. 2. Hard-Disk Woman - yeh sab kuch hmesa yaad rakhti hai.. 3. RAM Woman –muhh ferte hai apk bare mai sab kuch bhul jati hai.. 5. INTERNET Woman – Difficult to access 6. E-mail Woman – ishki kahi 10 baato mai 8 baaten bina matlab k hote hai 7. Virus Woman – ishko "wife" bhi kehte hai,ishki bare mai jab tak ap jante hai,tab tak yeh apk system ka band baja chuki hoti hai.. ‚‚ Husband wife jokes Hindi ‚‚ ek ghar mai pati patni k hasne ki bahut jyada awaz aa rahi thi sare padosi unki khushhali ka raj janne k liye unk ghar gye. pati ne padosiyo ko btaya ki bahut assan hai... hmare yaha meri bivi mujhe belan,chimta phek kr marti hai, agar mujhe lag jata hai to woh hasti hai nhi to mai hasta hu.. ‚‚ Husband wife jokes Hindi ‚‚ pati-raja dashrath ki 3 patni thi.. patni-to? pati-to mai abhi 2 shaddi aur k sakta hu.. patni-soch lo....!!!!draupati k 5 pati the.... 1st frnd-mai agle month 3 shaddi kar rahi hu? 2nd frnd-kyu??tmhare 2 patyo ka kya hua?? 1st frnd-pehla bhagwan ko pyara ho gaya,aur dusara padosan ko pyara ho gaya... :: Best Husband Wife jokes :: pati-mai apni biwi ko B.A phir M.A phir Ph.d karwaunga... ushko ek achi se job dilwaunga.. frnd-phir koi acha sa ladka dhundh kr ushki shaadi bhi krwa dena.. :: best husband wife jokes :: pati prawachan sun k aya aur patni ko godd mai utha liya patni-guruji ne kya rommance krne ko kaha hai kya? pati-nhi pagli unhone kaha hai apka dukh khud uthana chahiye. Tweet 308 :: jokes on husband and wife :: do mahila ki swarg mai mulakat hue.. 1st-tmhari maut kaise hue? 2nd-jyada thand lagne k karan, aur tmhari? 1st-High BP k karan,mujhe pata chal ki mera pati kisi dusari aurat k sath hai.. mai gaye aur ushko sab jagah dunda pr woh nhi mili 2nd-agr freez mai dhunda hota to ,hm dono jinda hoti... :: jokes on husband and wife :: pati- maine aj ek sapna dekha? patni-kya? pati-ki tm kise se pyar kr rahi ho. patni-kya tmne use pehchana? pati-nhi pehchan paya,kyuki mai raat mai bina chasma k hi so gaya tha. :: Latest, New, funny husband wife SMS, jokes :: shadi ki mauk pr dulha dulhan ki mang sindur bharne laga to ek bola -yaar, ye rashm agar ulati ho jani chahiye ,yani dunhan dulhe ki mang mai sindur bhare. dusara bola-agar aisa hua to duniya k sare takle kuware hi reh jayenge :: Latest, New, funny husband wife SMS, jokes :: pati-kyu na aj ki chaye bahar pi jaye? patni-kyo?tmhe kya lagta hai mai chaye banate -2 thak gye hu? pati- nahi ,pr mai plate aur cup dhote dhote tang aa gaya hu.. Hazaro aarzu aisi ke har aarzu pe dum nikle, Koi meri biwi se kahe ke shopping pe kam nikle. Husbend-talak lena hai, Advocate- talak lane ke lie 50000 rs lagenge, Husband- pagal ho kya, pandit ne to 501 rs, me shadi karayi thi, Advocate-dekh liya na saste ka natija. Chae ki patti (tea) aur pati (husband) me kya similarity hai? . Dono k naseeb me jalna aur ubalna likha ha & woh b aurat k hathon. Pati agar maine tumse zindagi me kabhi jhooth bola ho 2 mai abhi mar jau. Patni: mne bhi kbhi aap se jhth bla ho 2 mi abhi vidhva ho jau. Wife to her husband: I love you! I can't live without you! Mar Jaungi! Mit Jaungi! Jehar Pee Luongi! Tere Pyaar Mein Fanna Ho Jaungi! Husband: Dekh Le Jaise Tujhe Theek Lage! Pati: aji suna? Videshon me talaak lena bahut hi aasan hai. Patni : pata hai tabhi to vaha ladakiyan shadi ke samay roti nahi hain. Patni – “Chalo ek khel khelte hain .. mai chhupti hoon aur tum mujhe dhoondhna .. . . Agar tumne dhoondh liya to mai tumhaare saath shopping karne chaloongi .. !” Pati – Aur agar nahi dhoondh paya toh ? Patni – “aisa mat kaho Jaanu.. mai bas darwaje ke peechhe hee chhupoongi.. !!! Jitne Channel TV Ke, Utne Nakhre BIWI Ke, . . . . TV Chalta REMOTE Se Aur BIWI Chalti note ( money) Se. Wife: Jab desi pite ho toh Paro kehte ho. Jab whisky pite ho to Darling. Aaj kya piya jo chudail kehte ho? Husbund: Aaj main hosh me hu! Always love your wife No life without wife, Wife ke prati wafadar aur Imandar raho, Dil bada rakho, Ye mat socho… “How is your wife?” patni(kitchen se)-aj mai bahut khubsurat lag rahi hu?? pati-tmhe kaise pata?? patni-aj mujhe dekh kr roti bhi jal rahi hai...................short husband wife jokes Patni: Aap bahut mòte hò gaye hò Pati: tum bhi tò mòti hò gai hò patni: mai tò maa banne wali hòòn Pati: Mai bhi tò baap banne wala hòòn which 1 is best wife & saali? Saali is Beauty, Wife is duty, Saali is passiòn, Wife is tensiòn, Saali is patakha, Wife is sayapa, Sali is còòl, Wife is fòòl, Saali is tuty-fruity, Wife is qismat futi, Saali is fresh cake, Wife is earth quake… Patni: Meri sharafat dekhó....... Maine tumhe dekhe bagair shaadi karli… Pati: Aur meri sharafat dekhó..... Maine dekh kar bhi inkaar nahi kiya.. Biwi ko apni PALKO par baithalo, De kar KHUSHI uske sare GUM churalo... PYAR aise karo k sub DEKHTE reh jaye, PADOSAN Bhi aa kar kahe “Mujhe APNI BIWI banalo” Hawaldaar - Inspector sahab ....me ghar ke bahar khara hu.. Yaha 1 wife ne apne husband ko goli maar di hai Inspector- Pura waardat batoo... Hawaldaar- Sir...aaj eski kaamwali nahi aye the... wife ne khud se poochha lagya tha aur husbnad ne gile farsh pe per chhap diye... gusse me wife ne husbnad ko goli maar di ab mere liye kaya hukum hai?? Inspector- Bahar khara kaya kar raha ha bawkuf... ander jaa ke wife ko Giraftaar kaar lo Hawaldaar - par sir, farsh abhi bhi gila hai.........latest husband wife very funny sms Patni pati se sharm nahi ati dusre aurat ko ghoor ghoor ke dekh rahe ho Ab tum shadisuda ho Patni- esa kaha likha hai ki upvaas ho to kahne ka menu bhi nahi dekh sakte kaya? Husband: Bhagwan ne tumhe 2 aakhen di hai chawal se pathar nhi nikal sakti? WIFE: Bhagwan ne tumhe 32 daat diye hai 2-4 pathar nhi chaba sakte? Pehle woh meri girlfrnd thi, Mai bolta tha wo sunti thi, Phir woh meri mangetr bani, Woh bolti thi mai sunta tha Jb se woh meri BIWI bani, Hm dono bolte hai or muhalla sutna hai Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is liver & wife is kidney. If liver fails, kidney fails. If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney. Husband aur Wife Hotel me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya, Wife ne pucha,Kaun Thi Wo? Husband:-Tm dimagh kharab mat karo, mai pehle hi pareshan hu k woh bhi Yehi puche gi. Wife: Janu kash ap SMS hote. Mai ap ko save karti, Husband: Jaan-e-man, kash tm ringtone hoti, Mai her haftay tumhe change karta patni: jab tum desi pite ho mujhe pari kehte ho. beer pite ho to darling par aj bhutni kyu? pati:aj maine sprite piya hai, 'seedhi baat no bakhwash' Wife: Mai tumhari yaad mai 15 din mai hi aadhi ho gayi hu, mujhe lene kab aa rahe ho? Husband: 15 din aur ruk jao Thapar Marne par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola: Aadmi usi ko marta hai jis se Pyar krta hai. Wife ne Husband ko 2 thapar mara aur Boli ap kya samjhte hai mai apse Pyar Tweet 143 Dosti Karo College wali se, Ishq larao office wali se, Flirt karo pros wali se, Pyar karo dilwali se, ankh ladao sali se, aur maar khao ghar wali se Wife:kal rat tum mujhey neend mai galia kyu de rahe the? Husband: tumhe ghalat fehmi hue hai.. Wife: kaisi ghalat fehmi? Husband: yehi k mai neend mai tha Friends Are like “Priya Gold Biscuit” Haq Se maango Girl Friends are like Pepsi Yeh Dil Maange More Wife is like a medicine Bas Ek hi kaafi hai Wife:Suna he k jannat me husband k sath Wife ko nahi rehne dete HUSBAND! sahi suna he, Wife: aisa kyu? Husband: Are pagli isi liye to use jannat kehte hai.. Husband aur wife me ladai ho gai husband ghar se chala gaya. raat ko ph kark pucha khane me kya h? Wife:zehar Husband: mei der se aaunga,tum kha kar so jaana.. A white couple gets a black child. Angry husband asks- You white, Me white. Why is baby black? Wife- You hot, Me hot. Baby burnt! True bravery is 2 arrive home.....fully drunk......a latenight out.....& wife waiting with a jhadu and u ask: Hey abhitak safai kar rahi ho? Wife: Our new neighbour always kisses his wife when he goesto work, why don't you do that? Husband: How can I? I don't even know her. Wife 2 Husband: Did u Have any GF before marriage ? Husband remains silent ? Wife: what is D meaning of silence? Husband: Wait.. let me count... Possible Reasons When A Man Opens a car door for wife 1) The Car Is New. 2) The Wife Is New 3) (Most Imp) She Is Not His Wife Three FASTEST means of Communication : 1. Tele-Phone 2. Tele-Vision 3. Tell to Woman Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman. Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him. Moral : BE SPECIFIC A pregnant lady went to an astrologer. Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby's father will die. Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe! Tweet 346 Husband - aj kuch aisi bat batao jisase dil khush bhi ho jaye aur jal bhi jaye Wife- tumhare sare dosto me sabse acha kiss karane ka style tumhara hai bivi k thappad marne k bad pati bola Admi use hi marta h jise vo pyar karta h. bivi ne bhi 2khich k mari or boli-Ap kya samjte h mai apse pyar nahi karti. Wife: Bus karo rat k 12 baje se kar rahe ho or subai k 8 ho gaye, Thake nahi ?Husband: abhi to kuchh nahi kia ab to din raat karunga kyu ki.. 5000 MSG free hai. Wife pati se boli-Dekho G Kaam karte Waqt mere ko Kiss-Wiss na kiya karo. Tabhi Kaamwali Boli-Maidam achi Tarah se Samjha do, Mai to bol-bol ke Thak Gayi At late night wife's smartphone beeps. Husband checks her mobile and gets angry. He wakens his wife. Husband (angrily): who is this person saying beautiful??? Surprised wife checks her mobile. Wife (double angrily): heyyy... use your spectacles. It is not beautiful. It is battery full. Wife: Dekhi na wo aadmi mujhe ghur ghur ke dekh raha hai. Husband: Arre wo to bhangar wala ( scrap dealer ) hai, Bekar MAAL par nazar rakhana uski addat hai........... Patni- Shadi K Pehle Aap Roz Gift Dete The, Par Ab Nai Dete, Kyu? Pati- Tune Kabhi Kisi Machware Ko Machli Pakdne K Baad Use Dana Dalte Dekha Hai wife 2 husband-mujhe kahi mehngi jagah ghumane le chalo. husband-chalo tayaar ho jao. petrol pump chalte hain.. Wife-kitna pyar karte ho hame. Husband-shahjhan jitna. Wife-mere marne ke bad taj mahal banaoge. Hsbnd-me plot bhi le chuka hu pagli der to tu kar rahi he. Husband: Jab mai tumhe chillata hu tab tum apna gussa kispe nikalti ho ?? . Wife: toilet saaf karke . Husband: Hahahaha , bewkoof aurat vo kaise? . Wife: Toilet aapke toothbrush se saaf karti hu. Patni ka "I love you" bolne ke baad pati ka "I love you Tooooooooo" bolna utna he jaruri h jinta "jor se bolo" ke baad "Jay maata di" bolna Hubby - Mere Seene Mein Bahót Dard Hó Raha Hai, Jaldi Se Ambulance Ke Liye Call Lagao...... Wife - Haan, Lagati Hu, Apne Mobile/Smartphone Ka Password Bataó...... Husband - Rehne Do, Ab Thoda Theek Lag Raha Hai. On Sáturday Night Wife In very Romantic Mood:-Aaj Muje Rassi Se Bandh Do aur Jo Karna Chaho Kár Looo januuuuu. Páppu Ne Usay Bandha Or Dosto K Sáth Ghoomne Chala Gayá Bhákt: Guru ji, Aisi Patni ko kyá kahte hai jo.. Bahot Fair ho, Height achhi ho, Bahut cute ho Nature sweet ho, Brilliant ho, Pati ko samjhe Aur kabhi jhagda ná kare? Guru ji: Mann ka Vahám kahte hain Beta, Mann ka Váham!!! kal teri wife bahut jor jor se chillai kyo thi ? mere ghar taak aawaz aaye the| are kuch nahi yaar uska Photo facebook pe upload karne ke jagah OLX par upload ho gaya| Judge - tumne apne wife ko 10 saal dra ke dhamka ke apne baas me rakha Mujrim - esa nahi hai...... Judge - Saphai nahi tarike batoo.......tarika !!! Husband ne Wife ko sms kiya: "Dinner pe mere sath Rajiv, Sanjiv, Tanu aur Manu aa rahe hain... acha sa laziz khana bana dena dear" Phir 10 mins ke baaf 2nd sms kia: "Mera promotion ho gaya aur Meri salary badh gai hai, next month tumhe Diamond ki Ring la kar dunga.." Wife ne reply kiya: "Oh my God Really Darling" ? ||latest husband wife jokes by latestsms.in|| Husband: "Nahi... Main Check kar raha tha mera pehla sms mila ya nhi... warna tu bolegi mujhe messages mila hi nahi.." Wife 2 Husband - Sunte Ho ji..? Mujhe Happiness ki spelling batao!! . . . Husband: Likhhh… U N M A R R I E D........Unmarried...........short husbnad wife jokes Police to -Mahile, app bahut bahadur ho jee aap ne mashur daku ko bahut mara Mahila-mughe kaya pata tha ki wo daaku hai Raat bahut ghana andhera tha Me to samghi ki wo mera husband hai aur bahut der se ghar aaya hai....... Wife market se looti husband- mera andaaza hai es box me koi khane ki chiz hai Wife- are wahh Pati Parmeshwar app ne sahi andaaza lagaya esme me mere sandal hai It is said that Husband is the head of D family, But Remember that wife is D Neck of D family. & the Neck can turn the Head exactly D way she wants. [#] Enjoy latest & coolest collection ever on your favourite e-TV=latestsms.in of mobile text stuff and quotes. Read best of the months, husband wife jokes ; put a big smile on your loving wife's face sharing funny husband and wife jokes in hindi on her cellphone.