biggest desi Hindi jokes collection of latest desi boyfriend and sardar girls girlfriend and above
Neela daant…
One: Oye tera ek daant neela kyun ho gaya?
Two: Yaar maine ink lagayi hai.
One: Woh kyun.?
Two: Kyun ke aaj kal “bluetooth” ka zamana hai yaar…
Comments(11) | |
Long celebration
Wife: Woh admi jo drink kar raha hai, Usko maine 10 saal pehle shadi ke liye inkaar kia tha. Dekho who aaj tak sharab pee raha hai!
Husband: Wow! itni lambi celebration!
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I was born in Punjab!
Boss: Where were you born ?
Sardarji: Oye Punjab .
Boss: Which part?
Sardarji: Oye, Kya which part? Whole body born in Punjab.
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Kya Tum Ek Haath Se…
Ek ladki apny boy friend k sath nai car main long drive par ja rahi thi achanak ladki kehnay lagi, “suno ! kya tum ek haath se garri chala saktay ho ?”
“Kyun nahi” ,ladkay ne baday fakher se kaha.
Ladki ne aahista se kaha, “to phir doosray haath se apni naak saaf kar lo.”
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Gadhe ki baat
Ek sahebji ghabraye hue aaye aur biwi se bole: “Begam, aaj main office se aa raha tha ki raste mein ek gadha…!”
Itne mein unki bachhi bol uthi: “Mummy, Shyam ne meri gudiya tod di hai.” Pati ne phir kehna shuru kiya “Haan toh begam, main keh raha tha ki raste mein ek gadha…..!”
Itne mein unka ladka bola: “Mummy, Rita ne meri car tod di hai.”
Biwi ghusse mein aakar boli: “Bhagwan ke liye tum sab chup ho jao, mujhe pehle gadhe ki baat sun lene do..!”
Banta goes to watch dance
Banta mujra dekhne gaya, Sari raat mujra dekhta raha
Bai: Saheb humne aap ko khush kiya, Ab aap hamein khush karo.
Toh banta utha aur khud nachne laga .
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Gabbar ka khauf…
Maa apne bete se kehti: Beta so ja warna
gabbar aa jayega.
Beta apni maa se kehta: Maa mujhe
Chocolate do varna papa se keh dunga ke mere sone ke bad roz gabbar aata hai.
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Bahana nahi chahiae
Sardar: Mere podho ko pani de ramu.
Ramu: Sir barish gir rahi hai!
Sardar: Bahana nahi chahiae, chata leke ja…
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Submitted by: shiv
Innocence at its best
Ek chote bacche ne apani pregnant mummy se pucha : Isme kya hai?
Mummy : Issme pyara sa Baby hai.
Baccha : Itana pyara tha to khaya kyu ussko?
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Submitted by: Rasika
Bura mat socho
Bahu: Maaji, yeh abhi tak nahi aaye, kahi koi ladki ka chakkar toh nahi hai unke ?
Maaji: Are kalmuhi tu toh hamesha galat hi sochti hai, Ho sakta hai ke kisi truck ke niche aa gaya ho!
Nutrition
Ek 10 saal ka bachha bahot dhyan se ek book pad raha tha, jiska title tha: “ Kids ka paalan poshan kaise kare” .
Mother: Tum yeh book kyon pad rahe ho.
Kid: Main yeh dekhna chahta hoon ke
mera paalan poshan theek tara se ho raha hai ya nahi.
Comments(19) | |
Tala ka maamla
Ek sharabi ne bahut zyada sharab pee le. Jab woh ghar aaya to uss ne jeb se chabi nikali aur tala ko kholney laga.
Haath kaapne ke wajha se chabi kabhi idhar hat jati kabhi udhar hat jati, ek admi pass se guzra toh sharabi ne usey bataya ki tala nahi khul rahi hai.
Uss shaks ne sharabi ke pass ja kar kaha, “lao chabi tala main khol deta hoon”
Aur phir sharabee ne kaha, “Tala toh main hi kholonga bas tum makan ko pakar ke rakhna”
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colony ka bhikari
Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb : Kal aana. Kal
Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain.
Comments(15) | |
Submitted by: sahid
Pappu aur Pinki
Pappu Pinko ko pasand karta hay, aur Pinki Pappu k bhai ko… Jab k Pappu k bhai ko Pinki ki behan achi lagti hai aur Pinki ki behan ko Pappu pasand karti hai.
Halan-k Pappu pehle hi Pinki ko chahta hai…. Ab jab-k Pinko ko Pappu acha nahin lagta aur Pappu ka bhai Pinki k liye razi nahi hay aur Pappu Pinki ki behan se pyar nahin karta jab k Pinki ki behan ko Pappu ka bhai acha nahin lagta… To ye unka personal problem hay.
Aap kyon apna dimag kharab ker rahe ho!!!
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New doctor
Nayi(new) doctor ne apni life ka pehla operation kiya! Operation ki thodi der baad hi marij mar gaya!
Marij ke marne ke baad doctor ne diwar par tangi bhagwan ki taswir ki ore haath jodkar sir jhukate hue puri shradha ke saath kaha: Hey prabhu meri ore se yeh
pehli bhet swikar kijiye!
Tumhe phansi hogi
Police: Tumhe kal subah 5 baje phansi di jayegi.
Sardar: Ha ha ha!
Police: Kyu hass rahe ho?
Sardar: Main toh subah 8 baje tak sota hoon!
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Bada faayda
Husband: Tumse shaadi karke mujhe ek bahut bada faayda hua hai!
Wife: Woh kya?
Husband: Mujhe mere gunaaho ki saza jeete jee hi mil gayi!
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Ritu bomb hai
Ek baar ek terrorist ne Ritu ke ghar mein bomb rakh diya.
Log chillaye : Ritu bomb hai, Ritu bomb hai.
Ritu sambhal kar boli : Dhatt teri ki, woh toh mein jawani mein thi !! Ab nahi rahi.
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Submitted by: Lara
Roopvati, Gunvati and Dhanvati
Dad : The girl whom I showed you is
roopvati, gunvati and dhanvati . So you should marry her.
Son : But the girl whom I love is roopvati, dhanvati and garbhvati so I must marry her.
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Not in duty
Ek police Inspector ke ghar chori ho rahi thi.
Wife: Utho ji, ghar mein chori ho rahi hai.
Police Inspector: Mujhe sone de, main iss time duty par nahi hoon.
Hansa-Praful Part-II
Hansa: Praful, alphabet matlab….
Praful: alphabet Hansa, local train mein safar karte hoye maasi jaise hi koi seat khali dekhti hai, to wo apni beti Alpha se kya kehti hai?
Hansa: Alpha beth seat pe, Alpha beth,acha toh yeh alphabet….
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Love forever
Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear!
Girl: Would you die for me ?
Boy: No, mine is Undying Love!
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Chinese made easy
Here’s the simplified version of Chinese language. A lot of things make sense here. Do check it out and try to understand them:
Wai U Shao Ting — There is no reason to raise your voice.
Chin Tu Fat – You need a face lift
Dum Gai – A stupid person
Gun Pao Der – An ancient Chinese invention
Hu Flung Dung – Which one of you fertilized the field?
Kum Hia – Approach me
Shai Gai – A self-conscious person
Wan Bum Lung – A person with T.B.
Wai So Dim – Are you trying to save electricity?
Tai Ne Po Ne – A small horse,
Tai Ne Bae Be - A premature infant
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Three patients
Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.
If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for seven years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board overlooking an
empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.
“Congratulations! You’re a free man. Just tell me why didn’t you jump?” asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, “Well Doc, I can’t swim!”
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Submitted by: SANGEETASHETTY
Modernization
Girl of 1960 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aja moray balma tera intezar hai .
Girl of 2007 : Aye bahar hai…jia bekarar hai… aje moray balma warna dusra tayyar hai.
