desi Hindi jokes collection of mahabharat teachers students sardar girls girlfriend beta papa mummy husband wife and above
Doubt about Mahabharata
In a remote village of India, once Masterji is teaching the Mahabharat katha to class 6 students. He is at the ‘Krishna janma’ part of it.
Masterji : “Kansa heard the akashwani that his sister’s 8th child is going to kill him. He was furious. He ordered to put Vasudev and Devki behind the bars. First son is born, and kansa kills him by poisoning… Second one is born n Kansa throws him off the mountain peak. Third one is born…
Ramu : I have a doubt (sounding nervous and confused).
Masterji : “Ramu bete, whole India does not have doubt in Mahabharata then how come you have one?”
Ramu : Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki’s 8th child was going to Kill him, “Why the hell did he put Vasudev and Devaki in the same cell?”
Masterji fainted.
Sesh naag ki godh
Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua tha. Aur wife ne pyaar se apne husband se puchha:
Wife: Kaisa lag raha hai ji.
Husband: Aise, jaise bhagwaan Vishnu Shesh naag ki godh mein lete hon.
Why’s Santa’s phone OFF bhai??
Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said ‘Switched Off’ !
Banta : Nahi Pape, it’s my HELLO TUNE !
Black baby
Ek gora aadmi tha. Jab uska ladka paida hua toh woh kala tha.
Tabhi woh apni patni ke paas jata hai aur poochta hai, “Yaar main bhi gora tha tum bhi gori thi to bachcha kaise kala paida ho gaya”
Aur phir uski biwi ne jawab diya, “Darling main bhi hot tum bhi hot sayad bachcha jal gaya hoga.”
Gadhe ki baat
Ek sahebji ghabraye hue aaye aur biwi se bole: “Begam, aaj main office se aa raha tha ki raste mein ek gadha…!”
Itne mein unki bachhi bol uthi: “Mummy, Shyam ne meri gudiya tod di hai.” Pati ne phir kehna shuru kiya “Haan toh begam, main keh raha tha ki raste mein ek gadha…..!”
Itne mein unka ladka bola: “Mummy, Rita ne meri car tod di hai.”
Biwi ghusse mein aakar boli: “Bhagwan ke liye tum sab chup ho jao, mujhe pehle gadhe ki baat sun lene do..!”
Bada faayda
Husband: Tumse shaadi karke mujhe ek bahut bada faayda hua hai!
Wife: Woh kya?
Husband: Mujhe mere gunaaho ki saza jeete jee hi mil gayi!
Chhota bartan…
Customer: Ek kilo gaay(cow) ka doodh dena.
Shopkeper: Lekin tumhara bartan toh bahut chhota hai.
Customer: Theek hai toh phir bakri ka de de
Machcher ko maar daal
Malik alsi nokar se: - Yahan par itne sare machcher gun-gun kar rahen hai tu unhe maar gira.
Thodi der bad
Malik:- Abe sale nokar ke bachche maine tujhe machcher marne ko kaha abhi tak tune mare nahi. Woh ab bhi gun-guna kar rahe hai
Alsi nokar:- Malik machcher toh maine maar diye. Yeh toh unki bibi hai jo vidhva ho kar ro rahi hai.
New doctor
Nayi(new) doctor ne apni life ka pehla operation kiya! Operation ki thodi der baad hi marij mar gaya!
Marij ke marne ke baad doctor ne diwar par tangi bhagwan ki taswir ki ore haath jodkar sir jhukate hue puri shradha ke saath kaha: Hey prabhu meri ore se yeh
pehli bhet swikar kijiye!
If you will try to kiss
Girl : If you will try to kiss me main shor macha dungi
Boy : Lekin yahan to dur tak koi nahi hai.
Girl : I know per formality to karni hi padegi.
Dead Body Cycling
During an English lesson , the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him.
Teacher: Pappu, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body.
Pappu: (thinking for a while) I saw a dead body cycling to school.
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Chota Santa buys sabji
Chota Santa stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the Sabji wala:
10 kilo sugar at Rs 1.25 a kilo
4 kilo coffee at Rs1.50 a kilo
2 kilo butter at Rs1.10 a kilo
2 bars soap at Rs0.83 each
“How much does that come to? ” asked Larry.
“Twenty-two rupees and thirty-six paisa.”
“If I gave you three ten rupee bills, how much change would I get?” said Chota Santa.
“Seven rupees and sixty-four paisa, ” stated the Sabji wala who appeared to be irritated by all the questions.
Chota Santa said, as he disappeared through the door, “ Mujhe ye sab nahi kharid ne ka he.. mujhe to bas apne kal ke math homework ka an“
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Jor se bolo…
Teacher : ‘A’ for?
Student : Apple !!!
Teacher : Jor se bolo…
Student : JAI MATA DI
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Submitted by: Samir Khan
Ye Toh Girls Hostel Hai
Child : Mom isbar hum sare patake is shop se lenge.
Mom : lekin beta ye toh girls hostel hai.
Child : Papa to kehte hai ki sari phuljadiya yahi raheti hai.
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Submitted by: Imtiaz
A Poor Family Essay
A teacher once asks all students to write an essay on the topic “A Poor Family”. One student gets the lowest marks for writing that essay . The student happens to be the richest girl in the entire class and her essay goes on as
Maa banne wali hoon
Ek bar ek chitti ne Hathani ke kan mein kuch kaha toh hathni behos ho gayi.
Phir kisine chitti se pucha ke tune kya kaha?
Chitti Boli : Maine itna hi kaha ke “Main
tumhare bacche ki maa banne wali hoon!”
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Submitted by: prakash
Larki mehnati hoti hai
Research ke mutabiq larkian larkon se zyada mehnati hoti hai
Aapko pata hai kaise??
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Nahi pata
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Main bata deta hoon aapko
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- Continue Reading »
Comments(175) | |
Aisa chaukidaar chahiye jo…
Officer: Dekho, humme aisa chaukidaar chahiye jo sehatmand ho , chust, chalak aur chaukanna ho, jarurat parne par jisse hum daat bhi saake…
Yadi tumhare andar yeh saare guun shamil hai to tumhe yeh naukri mil sakti hai.
Umeedwaar : Saheb yeh saare gun meri biwi mein hai, usse bulau?
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Sardar and Hidden Camera
Jasmeet caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room.
Jasmeet : “What are you searching for?”
Santa : “Hidden camera!”
Jasmeet : “And what makes you think that there are hidden camera here?”
Santa : “That guy on tv knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, You are watching the Star World channel. How does he know that?”
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Ek train mein kuch budhyijibi
Delhi se Mughalsarai jaanewali ek train mein kuch budhyijibi type ke log sawar thy..
Woh log jor jorse antarrashtriya stor ke batien kar rahe thhe.
Upar ke birth par so rahe ek brahmin ko bahut pareshani ho rahi thhi.
Batien karte karte ek sajjan bole , “pahle punjibaad aya, fir samyabaad aur aab samajbaad ayega.”
Tabhi upar se woh vyakti chillaya , “bhaisaab jab Ilahabaad aye to mujhe thora jaga dena !!!”
