Latest Double mining jokes and shayari collection 3
din main sota hai
raat ko jagta hai
din main leta rehta hai
raat ko khara rehta hai
,its choukidar
Newly married woman returns from honeymoon.
Her Friends:
Kahan kahan ghum kar aai?
Woman:
Delhi, Agra, Jammu & Manali.
Her Friends:
Kya kya dekha?
Woman:
Bajaj, Anchor, Havells & Orient PSPO ke ceiling fans...
Ek Aadmi Ka Gala Beth Gaya, Bahut Koshish Ki Par Aaram Nahi Mila.
Raat Ke Do Baje Tang Aakar Apni Biwi Se Bola: “Kuch Samajh Mein Nahi Aa Raha Hai Ke Kya Karoon?”
Biwi Boli: “Ismein Sharmaane Ki Kya Baat Hai Samne Hi Doctor Ka Ghar Hai, Chale Jaao”
Pati: “Raat Ke Do Baje Kisi Ke Ghar Jaate Acha Nahi Lagta”
Patni: “Doctor Ka Farz Hota Hai Mareej Ko Dekhna Aur Theek Karna, Rat Ya Din Ka Koi Matlab Nahi Hota Ismein”
Pati Ne Is Baat Ko Socha Aur Pareshani Ki Haalat Mein Samne Wale Apartment Mein Pahunch Ke Dawaja Khat-Khataya,
Ander Se Doctor Ki Biwi Ne Pucha: “Kaun Hai?”
Pati (Gala Bethi Hui Awaaz Mein): “Main Hoon Aapka Padosi, Doctor Sahab Hai?”
Ander Se Biwi Ki Hot Awaaz Aayi: “Nahi Hai, Aa Jaao“
Pyar to phle zamane me hota tha....
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Ab to sirf palang hilte h...
11 girls ask the fruit seller to give 11 banana.
Fruit seller m not selling less than 12 bananas. :/
1girl said 'le le yaar,1 kha lenge. :o
Wife:"Mehman aa rahe hain or ghar me Daal k siva kuch nai .
Husband:"Jab wo aaye to kitchen me 1 bartan girana,
Me pochu to kehna KORMA gir gaya.. .
Phir dosra bartan girana, kehna BiRYANi gir gai..
fir Me kahuga chalo Daal hi le aao...
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Mehmano k aane k bad Bartan girne ki awaaz aai.. .
Husbnd:"Kya hua.. ??
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Wife: "maa bahen ek hogayi..... BC Daal hi gir gai .
Maine to ek Boond se Sagar bana diya .
Great lines said by -
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Sagar's father
What a sexy date of today !!
(7/MAY/14)
Enjoy it......
Main aur mera haath,
aksar
baatein karte hai ki -
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yaar kab
tak aisa chalega... ?
एक एक्स्ट्रा ओडनरी आदमी था..... (जैसा की हर मोहल्ले में एक होता है )
वो रोज घर से बाहर निकल कर बाहर खेल रहे बच्चों से सवाल पूछा करता था---
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आदमी -एफिल टावर कहाँ है पता है ??
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बच्चे ---नहीं अंकल....
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आदमी - हा हा हा हा जब देखो यहीं पड़े रहते हो....
कभी घर से बाहर निकलो तो पता चले.....
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दुसरे दिन फिर से...
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आदमी - अच्छा ये बताओ क़ुतुब मीनार कहाँ है....
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बच्चे - नहीं पता अंकल...
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आदमी ---हा हा हा हा जब देखो यहीं पड़े रहते हो....
कभी घर से बाहर निकलो तो पता चले.....
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रोज रोज के उसके ऐसे सवालों से बच्चे बड़ा जलील महसूस करते थे और तंग आ गए...
बच्चों ने उसे सबक सिखाने की सोची...
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अगले दिन जब वो आदमी घर से निकला तो इससे पहले वो बच्चों से सवाल पूछता ,
बच्चों ने उससे सवाल पूछा ---- अंकल आपको पता है कि ये ""रामलाल"" कौन है...
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आदमी--- नहीं मुझे नहीं पता......
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बच्चे ------ जब देखो बाहर पड़े रहते हो....
कभी घर पर भी रहो तो पता पड़े..
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1 aadmi ka gala kharab ho gaya pados m 1 doctor rehta tha vusney darwaza khatkaya or dhirey s bola doctor sahab ghar m h ander s doctor ki biwi ki awaz aayi nahi h aa jao
Fact
No Matter How Much You
Press It, Shake It, Rotate It, Slap It, Strangle It, Pull It
The Last Drop Of Urine Will Always Fall In Your Underwear!!!
Ek Ladki Rote Hue Doctor Ke Pass Gayi Doctor Ne Usko Dekha Aur Pucha.
Doctor: “Arrey Tumhare Hont Kaisi Fatte?”
Ladki: “Ji Kiss Karte Hue”
Doctor Hairan Se: “Kiss Karte Hue Hont Itne Buri Tarha Se To Nahi Fatt Sakte?”
Ladki: “Ji Main Usko Kiss Kar Rahi Thhi, Kisi Ne Darwaje Par Knock Kiya Aur Usne Gabra Ke Pant Ki Zip Band Kar Li“ :o
Teena: “What Do You Think About Husbands?”
Meena: “They Are Like Owls”
Teena: “Why?”
Meena: “They Can See The Good Things In A Wife Only At Night“
1st – Roz Uski Leni Chahiye, Khabar
2nd – Roz Uske Tasalli Se Dabane Chahiye, Pair
3rd – Roz Apna Khol Ke Uske Hath Mein Rakh Dena Chahiye, Purse
Tum Log Kya Soch Rahe Thhe, Vese Jo Soch Rahe Thhe Vo Bhi Karoge To Biwi Khush Hi Rahegi
Ladki Ki Lo, Ya Aurat Ki…
Jawan Ki Lo, Ya Budhi Ki…
Jaha Jiski Mile Le Lo…
Kyu Ki…
Pata Nahi Kab Kis Ki “Dua Kaam Aa Jaye“
Problems due to whatsapp short typing.
She asked me: "Main kaunsi university main admission lu?"
I said: "MU main le le"
(Mumbai University)
She doesn't talk to me anymore.
Girl to Tennis Coach :
Racket Kaise Pakdun ?
Coach : Racket Ko Aise Pakado,
Jaisey Tum Apne Boy Friend Ka ..... Pakadti Ho.
Girl : Ab Theek Hain Na..???
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Coach : Ullu Ki Patthi .. Muh Se Nikal Racket!!
Banta: What comes after 69?
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Santa: Mouthwash. .....
Tension - When Wife Is Pregnant.
Terror - When Girlfriend Is Pregnant.
Horror - When Both Are Pregnant.
Tragedy - When You Are Not Responsible For Both.
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Pappu School der se pahuncha..
TEACHR-Do U Know Value of Periods,
Yes madem,
1bar Pados ki DIDI ko nahi hua to Uski Maa Behosh,Bap Ko Atack,Or mera bhai Farrar.
Pappu Ki Girlfriend Ne Apne Pet Ke Niche Chidiya Ka Tatoo Banwaya..
Pappu Ke Sath Romance Karne Ke Baad Usne Pappu Se Pucha..
Tumne Chidiya Dekhi?
Pappu: Nahi Mera Saara Dhyaan Ghosle Me Tha..
BIWI ko
Din me karoge to
wo SUST rahegi
Sham ko karoge to CHUST rahegi
Roj karoge to TANDURAST rahegi
Karte rahoge to
KHUSH rahegi
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"OFFICE SE ROJ SIRF EK CALL"
She- ladkiyon ko dekh ke tumhare kaan kyu khade
ho jaatey hain?
Me- accha ladkiyan inhe kaan kehti hain ?
*slapped*
Hotel Me Dinner Karte Wife Ne Leg Piece Utha K Pati ko Diya.
Bagal se ek Buzurg Bole-
waqt ki baat hai Hamari Begum bhi Hume 'Tangey Utha Utha K Deti thi'.
Ladka: “Aunti Aapki Beti Itni Slim Kaise Hai?”
Aunti: “Beta Meri Beti Salad Ki Bahut Shaukin Hai. Uske To Takiye Ke Niche Bhi Hamesha Muli, Gaajar Aur Kheera Hi Hota Hai“..
Husband Suhaag Raat Wale Din Apni Wife Se Poochta Hai.
Husband: “Abb Tak Kitne mardo k Saath Soi Ho Sach Batana?”
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Wife: “Sach Keh Rahi Hu, Sirf Aap Ke Saath Soi Hu
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Baaki Sab Haraamzade To SoneHi Nahi Dete The
When you go to a dhaba in Uttar Pradesh, you never ask for roti and daal. Saying 'Daal do' makes men do strange things.
Jija aur saali soonsaan jungle se ja rahe the.
Sali : Jija ji kahi aap is mauke ka faida utha k mere saath zabardasti to nahi karenge?
Jija: Dikhta nahi mere ek hath may Bakri aur Danda hai,aur doosre hath may murga, rassi aur balti hai.Mai kaise kuch kar sakta hoon.
Sali: Kyo nahi kar sakte, agar Danda gaad k rassi say bakri ko baand do aur balti ulta karke murge k upar rakh do to aap sab kuch kar sakte ho, mujhe aapse bahut dar lag raha hai,..............
Beta Apni Mummy Se: “Kal Papa Ke Office Se Prayer Karne Ki Aawaze Aa Rahi Thi”
Mummy: “Prayer Karna Toh Beta Bahut Achhi Baat Hain”
Beta: “Par Papa Toh Bilkul Chup Thhe Lekin Unki Secrartry Zor Zor Se Chilla Rahi Thhi “Ohhhh My God Ohhhh My God“
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